We live in a small village in Derbyshire that has a dis-used coal mine, one shop, a hair "salon" in someone's front room, two churches and four pubs. US guys can equate this place to something like a small clearing in the Everglades where the French-speaking natives roast live hogs and welcome strangers with a toothless grin and a banjo. It's my kind of place

Much to my surprise I noticed this on the wall of one of the pubs...

When asked, the new owner (of 2 weeks standing), who had already declared his intention to gut the place and renovate with trendy leather sofas and stainless steel fittings, declined to sell it to me and said he would be putting it on Ebay due to my interest. Git.

My fellow villagers and I will be hanging him from the oak tree on the village green at the next full moon.
Derek