ThePortForum.com

The Golden Ticket wrote:Greetings to you, the lucky finder of this Golden Ticket, from Mr William Symington! I shake you warmly by the hand! Tremendous things are in store for you! Many wonderful surprises await you! For now, I do invite you to come to my estates and cellars and be my guest for one whole day you and all others who are lucky enough to find my Golden Tickets. I, William Symington, will conduct you around myself, showing you everything that there is to see, and afterwards, when it is time to leave, you will be escorted home by a procession of large trucks. These trucks, I can promise you, will be loaded with enough delicious drinkables to last you and your entire household for many years. If, at any time thereafter, you should run out of supplies, you have only to come back to the factory and show this Golden Ticket, and l shall be happy to refill your cellar with whatever you want. In this way, you will be able to keep yourself supplied with tasty refreshments for the rest of your life. But this is by no means the most exciting thing that will happen on the day of your visit. I am preparing other surprises that are even more marvellous and more fantastic for you and for all my beloved Golden Ticket holders mystic and marvellous surprises that will entrance, delight, intrigue, astonish, and perplex you beyond measure. In your wildest dreams you could not imagine that such things could happen to you! Just wait and see! And now, here are your instructions: the day I have chosen for the visit is the first day in the month of February. On this day, and on no other, you must come to the lodge gates at ten o’clock sharp in the morning. Don’t be late! And you are allowed to bring with you either one or two friends to look after you and to ensure that you don’t get into mischief. One more thing - be certain to have this ticket with you, otherwise you will not be admitted.

(Signed) William Symington.

What do you get when you guzzle down port?
Glass after glass, quart after quart?
A masculine and prosperous physique,
Which makes you healthy and strong not weak.

PhilW wrote:Given good manners you will go far.

jdaw1 wrote:It would not be difficult to devise entertaining ritual. One of those present stands, and deeply intones ‟Oompa Loompa”. Next to the left (of course!) stands and both intone the same. Then the third. When all are standing, the verse(s) continue/s.

AHB wrote:Please may I video this for upload to YouTube?

jdaw1 wrote:If I am to be accompanied by two of you fine folks, first my Supreme Commander must be dissuaded from claiming one of the places. But how?

jdaw1 wrote:(There would be an additional step for attending members of the trade, who would have an extra line ‟Subject to the Code of Practice of The Portman Group”.)

• Said very quickly, in the tone of a disclaimer at the end of a radio advertisement:
  
  ‟Subject to the Portman Group Code of Practice on the Naming, Packaging and Promotion of Alcoholic Drinks, most especially that we are not giving ‘undue emphasis’ to Port’s ‘higher alcoholic strength’, we are not suggesting any association with ‘bravado’, nor ‘with sexual activity or sexual success’, and are not claiming that Vintage Port ‘has therapeutic qualities’, even though it cures most ailments, adds handsomeness, and is wooing-juice-tastic.
  
  And our packaging will give the score, the Chief Medical Officers’ recommended minimum hourly dose for a man, and advise men not to be pregnant.”

The Portman Group wrote:Since the Portman Group was set up in 1989, over 130 irresponsible products or promotions have been withdrawn

Andy Velebil wrote:I will make sure you and your luggage are escorted safely there and back.

jdaw1 wrote:Upon reflection, I really like this idea of PW’s: needs a Club Anthem, and the Oompa Loompas praising voluminous consumption of fine VP would be liked by all.