It's just not cricket

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 11:40 Sat 12 Jul 2014

LGTrotter wrote:Will this never end?

We've got to get in the lead, get jimmy's ton, and beat the record for highest 10th wicket partnership. Then it can end. Will jimmy still open the bowling...?

Post by **DRT** » 12:07 Sat 12 Jul 2014

Jimmy hasn't run the length of the wicket for the past hour and a half. He shouldn't be too tired

I'm not quite getting the tactics. I get the bit about getting the hundred, taking the lead (done) and building a bit of a cushion. I also gather from the commentators that India have packed the outfield so boundaries are unlikely. So why turn down easy singles? Surely the only way Jimmy will get to the ton is by picking those up and keeping the scoreboard moving?

Am I missing something?

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 12:11 Sat 12 Jul 2014

DRT wrote:Jimmy hasn't run the length of the wicket for the past hour and a half. He shouldn't be too tired

I'm not quite getting the tactics. I get the bit about getting the hundred, taking the lead (done) and building a bit of a cushion. I also gather from the commentators that India have packed the outfield so boundaries are unlikely. So why turn down easy singles? Surely the only way Jimmy will get to the ton is by picking those up and keeping the scoreboard moving?

Am I missing something?

Nobody cares about Jimmy getting a ton. He won't. They shouldn't be playing for that, if they are.. They should be getting as much of a lead as they can, whatever that is, and that means taking runs when they're available, and if they get out, they get out - they're not going to be got out by the bowling, and the outfield isn't really all that packed so boundaries are possible. Just get on with it England.

Post by **DRT** » 12:14 Sat 12 Jul 2014

They appear to have stepped it up a little since we started moaning about them being slow. Presumably they have some sort of radio in their helmets so that the manager can tell them what we are saying.

And now a boundary.

I'd like Jimmy to get the hundred.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 12:28 Sat 12 Jul 2014

Also, Jimmy will still be knackered - he's been concentrating like hell for the last 2 and a bit hours, hasn't made many wrong moves and is watching the ball intently..

Post by **DRT** » 12:34 Sat 12 Jul 2014

djewesbury wrote:Also, Jimmy will still be knackered - he's been concentrating like hell for the last 2 and a bit hours, hasn't made many wrong moves and is watching the ball intently..

But now he's off for a cucumber sandwich and a cup of Yorkshire tea - that should perk him up a bit.

Should we make the next session a bit more interesting?

How many balls after lunch before the wicket falls?

DRT says 37 balls.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 12:40 Sat 12 Jul 2014

I think 37 is too long. If they're in for 6 overs they'll be starting to get back in and the Indians have no plan for getting them out. I think either much sooner - within the first two overs - or later - say after 12 overs. I'll opt for the former.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 12:41 Sat 12 Jul 2014

Well I suppose Derek is about right (as usual), but I will be optimistic and say after 10 overs, say 62 balls.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 12:48 Sat 12 Jul 2014

djewesbury wrote:I think 37 is too long. If they're in for 6 overs they'll be starting to get back in and the Indians have no plan for getting them out. I think either much sooner - within the first two overs - or later - say after 12 overs. I'll opt for the former.

You're right of course, straight away or not at all is the answer.

Post by **DRT** » 12:58 Sat 12 Jul 2014

DRT: 37
LGTrotter: 62
djewesbury: 73

Making Owen least likely to win.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 13:03 Sat 12 Jul 2014

DRT wrote:DRT: 37
LGTrotter: 62
djewesbury: 73

Making Owen least likely to win.

No - I said would go for the former of my two choices - within two overs.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 13:31 Sat 12 Jul 2014

I win. Ker-ching.

Post by **DRT** » 13:31 Sat 12 Jul 2014

djewesbury wrote:
DRT wrote:DRT: 37
LGTrotter: 62
djewesbury: 73

Making Owen least likely to win.
No - I said would go for the former of my two choices - within two overs.

Apologies.

djewesbury: <13
DRT: 37
LGTrotter: >72

Did anyone notice how many overs had been bowled by lunch?

Jimmy's out.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 13:33 Sat 12 Jul 2014

Out in 4.5 overs. Since that's less than your prediction, I think I win.

Post by **DRT** » 13:42 Sat 12 Jul 2014

djewesbury wrote:Out in 4.5 overs. Since that's less than your prediction, I think I win.

Out in 29 balls.

If cheating makes you feel better I'm happy for you to feel smug about your "victory".

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 13:54 Sat 12 Jul 2014

I'm having difficulty expressing myself. I'm going to refer this to the third umpire.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 13:54 Sat 12 Jul 2014

Though I think you won really. How tedious.

Post by **DRT** » 13:56 Sat 12 Jul 2014

Next:

How many wickets will England take before close of play today?

DRT says 5.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 13:56 Sat 12 Jul 2014

Post by **DRT** » 17:52 Sat 12 Jul 2014

It was 3, an odd number, so I suppose I win.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 19:39 Sat 12 Jul 2014

No. I win. Check the snicko.

Post by **DRT** » 19:57 Sat 12 Jul 2014

No DRS in this game. Umpire's decision is final.

It is becoming increasingly difficult to fathom how England can possibly throw this game away. No doubt we will find out tomorrow.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 20:57 Sat 12 Jul 2014

DRT wrote:It is becoming increasingly difficult to fathom how England can possibly throw this game away. No doubt we will find out tomorrow.

I too was wondering this. Still four more tests to go, they may have to get creative with their losing later in the series. It is odd that Trent Bridge isn't going to produce a result.

DRT wrote:DRT says 5.

djewesbury wrote:4

Sorry chaps, it's a draw.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 00:05 Sun 13 Jul 2014

My highlight of today's play; David Puttnam's 'view from the boundary'.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 00:07 Sun 13 Jul 2014

LGTrotter wrote:My highlight of today's play; David Puttnam's 'view from the boundary'.

Never forget that he joined the SDP.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 00:09 Sun 13 Jul 2014

djewesbury wrote:
LGTrotter wrote:My highlight of today's play; David Puttnam's 'view from the boundary'.
Never forget that he joined the SDP.

Worse than that; I never knew.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 00:11 Sun 13 Jul 2014

He even made ads for them, I mean party political broadcasts. Something along the lines of "Vote for this lot, who cares any more?" or something.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 00:16 Sun 13 Jul 2014

I just thought that he was an interesting man, very well suited to the situation. Agnew is not always simpatico, but it flowed fine.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 00:23 Sun 13 Jul 2014

Yes yes. Lovely. Actually it was. Except for the terrible CD. Bleugh.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 00:28 Sun 13 Jul 2014

djewesbury wrote:Yes yes. Lovely. Actually it was. Except for the terrible CD. Bleugh.

Yes that did make me come over a bit peculiar.

Post by **DRT** » 11:14 Sun 13 Jul 2014

LGTrotter wrote:
DRT wrote:It is becoming increasingly difficult to fathom how England can possibly throw this game away. No doubt we will find out tomorrow.
I too was wondering this.

There is a bit more movement in the wicket today so the opportunity for England to throw it away has increased dramatically. India are not putting on runs and look a bit nervous. India bowled out by lunch followed by an England batting collapse is still a distinct possibility.

Whatever happens, it needs an injection of excitement to keep me awake this afternoon.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 11:15 Sun 13 Jul 2014

WICKET!
you were saying?

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 11:16 Sun 13 Jul 2014

England are going to win.

Post by **DRT** » 11:24 Sun 13 Jul 2014

djewesbury wrote:WICKET!
you were saying?

I was saying...

DRT wrote:India bowled out by lunch followed by an England batting collapse is still a distinct possibility.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 11:24 Sun 13 Jul 2014

Except for the last bit.

Post by **DRT** » 11:26 Sun 13 Jul 2014

So an England batting collapse whilst in prime position to win is not possible?

Where have you been for the past three decades?

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 11:51 Sun 13 Jul 2014

DRT wrote:So an England batting collapse whilst in prime position to win is not possible?

Where have you been for the past three decades?

Queueing for a beer.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 12:09 Sun 13 Jul 2014

DRT wrote:Where have you been for the past three decades?

Now come on, things looked pretty solid when Trott was about, the 2005 squad scored some runs too.

Back to this game; it's going NOWHERE...

Post by **DRT** » 13:32 Sun 13 Jul 2014

LGTrotter wrote:Back to this game; it's going NOWHERE...

Agreed. Is there a rule that allows the two captains to agree it's a draw and retire to the bar? That would make more sense than continuing in a game that no one is trying to win.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 13:49 Sun 13 Jul 2014

DRT wrote:
LGTrotter wrote:Back to this game; it's going NOWHERE...
Agreed. Is there a rule that allows the two captains to agree it's a draw and retire to the bar? That would make more sense than continuing in a game that no one is trying to win.

There is, I think it's when there's half an hour to go and both captains agree.

Post by **DRT** » 13:53 Sun 13 Jul 2014

I propose a new rule.

If the team batting their second innings are more than 200 in front with 50 overs to go there is an automatic declaration and the other team go in. If 200 is the wrong number, choose another number. It would avoid this tedium.

Post by **jdaw1** » 14:09 Sun 13 Jul 2014

When a draw is inevitable, the captains should shake on it, and then entertain the crowd with a quick game: twenty overs each and batting orders reversed.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 14:10 Sun 13 Jul 2014

DRT wrote:I propose a new rule.

If the team batting their second innings are more than 200 in front with 50 overs to go there is an automatic declaration and the other team go in. If 200 is the wrong number, choose another number. It would avoid this tedium.

Centuries of gradual evolution swept away. They could also put one of the players top half in a sack and chase him around with bats to avoid tedium. But the tedium is part of the rise and fall of the game. Nod off, do the crossword, come back to it later. This celtic desire to be active is inimicable to the game.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 14:12 Sun 13 Jul 2014

LGTrotter wrote:
DRT wrote:I propose a new rule.

If the team batting their second innings are more than 200 in front with 50 overs to go there is an automatic declaration and the other team go in. If 200 is the wrong number, choose another number. It would avoid this tedium.
Centuries of gradual evolution swept away. They could also put one of the players top half in a sack and chase him around with bats to avoid tedium. But the tedium is part of the rise and fall of the game. Nod off, do the crossword, come back to it later. This celtic desire to be active is inimicable to the game.

Quite so. I'm very pleased to see the Indian lead exceed 250 and the prospect of a result slip away completely. Now the real tests of character begin.

Post by **DRT** » 14:25 Sun 13 Jul 2014

djewesbury wrote:I'm very pleased to see the Indian lead exceed 250 and the prospect of a result slip away completely. Now the real tests of character begin.

Tosh.

I like the sack idea. They could start with Bell and then move on to Cook. They shouldn't stop for tea.

Post by **DRT** » 14:44 Sun 13 Jul 2014

Wicket.

Only two more to go and we get to laugh at Cook again. At least the game will finish on a high.

Post by **DRT** » 15:04 Sun 13 Jul 2014

This is getting quite desperate. I don't know how much longer I can pretend to be interested in this game. Sooner or later Mrs T is going to notice me starting to nod off and give me some sort of task to do. Advice greatly appreciated.

Post by **DRT** » 15:53 Sun 13 Jul 2014

DRT wrote:a rule that allows the two captains to agree it's a draw and retire to the bar?

Beefy just made the same suggestion. Does that mean I'm a genius?

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 15:54 Sun 13 Jul 2014

The options;
1) Put on sunglasses and hope you don't snore.
2) Go to the shed, taking the telly with you.
3) say to Mrs T 'this is dull, is there anything I can usefully do?'
4) Hang tough, say this is the most subtle and intriguing part of the noble game of cricket should you be asked to do anything.

Post by **DRT** » 15:56 Sun 13 Jul 2014

LGTrotter wrote:The options;
1) Put on sunglasses and hope you don't snore.
2) Go to the shed, taking the telly with you.
3) Hang tough, say this is the most subtle and intriguing part of the noble game of cricket should you be asked to do anything.

There was a typo in your list, which I have corrected for you