It's just not cricket

Post by **DRT** » 12:33 Sun 05 Jan 2014

Can I vote for Owen?

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 12:34 Sun 05 Jan 2014

Go on then. But then there has to be an award for 'best newcomer', for you.

Post by **DRT** » 12:40 Sun 05 Jan 2014

I'd like to thank my parents, my wife, my son and my lifestyle coach for their continued love and support, I couldn't have done it without them.

Post by **Alex Bridgeman** » 13:56 Sun 05 Jan 2014

The proper Ashes series starts on Friday. Perhaps the England women's team could play a warm up match against the men's team and see how much of a humiliating margin they could win by.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 16:31 Sun 05 Jan 2014

One thing is certain. I won't be listening to the pyjama games.

Post by **jdaw1** » 22:30 Sun 05 Jan 2014

The Telegraph, on 5th January 2014, in an article entitled [url=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/cricket/international/theashes/10433915/The-Ashes-2013-14-England-ridiculed-for-sending-82-page-list-of-goji-berry-and-quinoa-catering-demands.html]The Ashes 2013-14: England ridiculed for sending 82-page list of goji berry and quinoa catering demands[/url], wrote:England have given Australia ideal sledging material for the Ashes after sending an 82-page list of their players’ catering demands to each Test match ground during their defence of the urn.

Andy Flower’s men opened themselves up to ridicule by circulating documents containing nearly 200 different types of meal and beverage ahead of the first Test in Brisbane, which begins on Nov 21.

The catering options, designed by Chris Rosimus, performance nutritionist of the England and Wales Cricket Board, range from ‟mini mushroom and spinach bhajis” to ‟quinoa with roasted butternut squash, apricot and parsley”.

A selection of breakfast, snack, lunch, tea and post-match options are specified for each of the five days of a Test, with the ECB guide stating that it is ‟essential” that all meals are cooked as per the chef’s guide.

Among the 194 dishes and drinks are ‟piri-piri breaded tofu with tomato salsa”, a ‟quinoa and cranberry breakfast bar” and ‟mungbean curry with spinach”.

Spinach is bad for you. Just don’t. If you eat spinach, you lose 5-0. Pork pies are the way forward.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 22:48 Sun 05 Jan 2014

jdaw1 wrote:Pork pies are the way forward.

I laughed heartily when I read this article earlier today. I can't argue with JDAW's conclusion; nor I'm sure would Ashes-winning captain Mike Gatting. Or Melton Mowbray enthusiast Jonathan Agnew.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 00:47 Mon 13 Jan 2014

I just checked the scorecard and report for the first ODI. Seems we batted well with the obvious exception of Cook: a nice 50 from Morgan and 79 from Ballance. This time the bowling and fielding were the problem.
We can't even be consistent!

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 01:49 Mon 13 Jan 2014

One day internationals? Next thing you'll be talking about footer.

Post by **Alex Bridgeman** » 09:06 Mon 13 Jan 2014

I would like to point out that England can play cricket - but it is the England women who play like men and England men who play like a bunch of girls.

The one-off women's test was pretty good stuff to listen to. England managed a very nervous 201, batting first and taking most of day 1 before closing the day with Australia 9-2. Three wickets in the morning session had Australia 37-5 but good 6th and 7th innings partnerships eventually had Australia 207 all out towards the end of day 2. At the close of play on day 2, England were 18-3.

Good 4th (54 runs) and 6th (85 runs) wicket partnerships from England eventually saw England all out for 190. Australia got off to a good start, scoring 28 before losing their first wicket but then 3 wickets for 0 runs when the score was on 40 decimated Australia's middle order, leaving them on 57-5 at close of play on day 3. It was another 37 runs before England got the 6th wicket, but then Australia quickly subsided thanks to some terrific bowling from Shrubsole who got three late wickets and gave England a 61 run victory in the end.

It was a great match to listen to. Swinging rapidly one way and then the other, much more fun that the tedious one-sidedness that the arrogant England men's team gave us.

I also like the format of the women's ashes series - 1 test, 3 ODIs and 3 T20s with 6 points for the test and 2 points for the winner of the one day games. England women need to win just two of the remaining games to retain their Ashes. Their next game is 19th Jan.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 11:11 Mon 13 Jan 2014

Excellent summary, and a perfect case made for the importance of women's cricket. Thanks Alex.

RAYC · Post by **RAYC** » 13:32 Mon 13 Jan 2014

AHB wrote:I would like to point out that England can play cricket - but it is the England women who play like men and England men who play like a bunch of girls.

You're sounding a bit like Piers Morgan...

Post by **jdaw1** » 10:16 Thu 16 Jan 2014

Michael Skapinker of the Financial Times, in an comment entitled [url=http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/03640c8e-7d0a-11e3-81dd-00144feabdc0.html]Would you want Kevin Pietersen in your team?[/url], wrote:Would you want Kevin Pietersen in your team?
How to deal with talented but awkward people who don’t abide by the rules

Kevin Pietersen, who plays cricket for England, is difficult, self-regarding, occasionally irresponsible and, in the right frame of mind, outrageously talented.

He was the best batsman in England’s recent disastrous series against Australia. But as they rebuild their team, England’s managers have to decide whether they have had enough of him.

Post by **DRT** » 23:51 Thu 16 Jan 2014

: Screen Shot 2014-01-16 at 23.50.06.png (30.83 KiB) Viewed 5813 times

Is the 6th Test about to begin?

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 23:52 Thu 16 Jan 2014

DRT wrote:
Screen Shot 2014-01-16 at 23.50.06.png
Is the 6th Test about to begin?

Ha. Sadly no.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 00:27 Fri 17 Jan 2014

I am going to continue to flog this dead horse but I can't quite believe that the noise from the England set up is that while everything has to be different they are going to be doing it with they same people.

Harrumph!

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 11:07 Fri 17 Jan 2014

We nearly nearly won this one.

mpij · Post by **mpij** » 11:08 Fri 17 Jan 2014

Oh dear, England snatch defeat from jaws of victory.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 11:09 Fri 17 Jan 2014

The next one.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 22:13 Fri 17 Jan 2014

Whilst watching the highlights from the ODI I noticed Clarke deliberately turning his collar up. I am not sure this should be allowed to pass unremarked.

Post by **Alex Bridgeman** » 00:13 Sat 18 Jan 2014

Console yourself over England men's abysmal performance by listening to England women's first ODI. Ii's on at 11pm tonight.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 00:41 Sat 18 Jan 2014

I hope they have got Rachael Heyhoe Flint in the Geoffrey Boycott role for commentary.

I have always found it an intensely amusing name.

Post by **DRT** » 10:42 Sun 19 Jan 2014

It is all over. Daniel and Owen, you can come out from behind the couch.

Post by **DRT** » 10:49 Sun 19 Jan 2014

Oops! Sorry, I thought it was a three game series but there are two more devastating defeats to come.

As you were, gentlemen.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 12:12 Sun 19 Jan 2014

DRT wrote:Oops! Sorry, I thought it was a three game series but there are two more devastating defeats to come.

As you were, gentlemen.

But they've lost the series.
But who knows, maybe we'll win one of the 411 T20 games..

Post by **DRT** » 12:27 Sun 19 Jan 2014

I've just listened to an interview that suggests three of the key players in the Australian side are not going to Perth, so perhaps a win against the B team is on the cards?

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 16:06 Sun 19 Jan 2014

DRT wrote:I've just listened to an interview that suggests three of the key players in the Australian side are not going to Perth, so perhaps a win against the B team is on the cards?

Who cares? I mean, really, who cares who wins one of these pointless pyjama games? One-day games are marginally more meaningful than the shameless trash that is T20 but I still can't get myself that worked up about who gets more runs in 50 overs. I'm more concerned about whether England Women can win the Ashes now.

Post by **DRT** » 16:34 Sun 19 Jan 2014

djewesbury wrote:One-day games are marginally more meaningful than the shameless trash that is T20 but I still can't get myself that worked up about who gets more runs in 50 overs.

Perhaps a little harsh. I understand traditionalism and it is the main reason why I despise Pink Port, but its apparent success in introducing Port to a wider audience has opened my mind to the idea that sometimes it is good to compromise in order to grow.

By way of example, as I alluded to at the beginning of this thread, I was completely dumbfounded by and disinterested in cricket until Ben and Alex introduced me to the game through a series of T20 and ODIs at Lord's and the Oval. Those experiences in the short-form of the game resulted in me watching some of last summer's Ashes series and then staying up until 4am on a number of occasions to watch the series down under. I strongly suspect I am not alone in having my interest sparked late in life by a format that is easy to understand and that doesn't take five days to reach an outcome.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 16:38 Sun 19 Jan 2014

HARUMPH!
Oh just give me some Tramadol and let me sulk about how rubbish we are.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 16:44 Sun 19 Jan 2014

I am with Derek in that mighty oaks from little acorns grow, and with Daniel that giving up on timeless tests was the start of the collapse of civilisation.

I couldn't bear to follow the cricket, this series needs to be painlessly destroyed. I hate to see them suffer.

Can't resist adding that Cook and the management team seem to have some 'issues to resolve' with the players.

Post by **DRT** » 16:50 Sun 19 Jan 2014

LGTrotter wrote:giving up on timeless tests was the start of the collapse of civilisation.

I disagree. That happened when this was invented and given to children.

Post by **Alex Bridgeman** » 23:04 Wed 22 Jan 2014

Just a reminder that the second women's ODI starts tonight. Commentary on 5-live sports extra from 3:05am.

If England win then they retain the Ashes.

Glenn E. · Post by **Glenn E.** » 04:47 Thu 23 Jan 2014

AHB wrote:If England win then they retain the Ashes.

Is there just one Ashes? Or is there one for men, one for women, one for U20 (or whatever it is), etc?

Post by **DRT** » 08:23 Thu 23 Jan 2014

Glenn E. wrote:
AHB wrote:If England win then they retain the Ashes.
Is there just one Ashes? Or is there one for men, one for women, one for U20 (or whatever it is), etc?

There is really only one, which is the men's series over five, five-day test matches. They just made another one up to stop the girls moaning. I think the Australian's wanted to call it The Sheila's Cup, which would have been more appropriate.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 20:55 Fri 24 Jan 2014

I had a dream that the England (men) cricket team won a match against Australia. Albeit an irrelevant one.

Post by **DRT** » 22:03 Fri 24 Jan 2014

...and I heard that Cook now thinks he had a dream where he suggested it might be a good idea to have some changes in the England set-up. Obviously no longer required now that everything is fixed.

benread · Post by **benread** » 07:15 Sat 25 Jan 2014

DRT wrote:
Glenn E. wrote:
AHB wrote:If England win then they retain the Ashes.
Is there just one Ashes? Or is there one for men, one for women, one for U20 (or whatever it is), etc?
There is really only one, which is the men's series over five, five-day test matches. They just made another one up to stop the girls moaning. I think the Australian's wanted to call it The Sheila's Cup, which would have been more appropriate.

It used to be 6 test series. Another retrograde step.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 11:10 Sun 26 Jan 2014

SHOCK! England lose game of cricket that they could have won! 6 required from 3 balls and they lose their last wicket.
I bet they can't wait for the meaningless T20s!

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 12:07 Wed 29 Jan 2014

djewesbury wrote:I bet they can't wait for the meaningless T20s!

I bet they can, they just lost the first one. Meaningless.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 12:13 Wed 29 Jan 2014

LGTrotter wrote:
djewesbury wrote:I bet they can't wait for the meaningless T20s!
I bet they can, they just lost the first one. Meaningless.

ENGLAND WIN ASHES!!!
Well done Charlotte Edwards. Clearly the best England team out there.

benread · Post by **benread** » 17:58 Wed 29 Jan 2014

djewesbury wrote:
LGTrotter wrote:
djewesbury wrote:I bet they can't wait for the meaningless T20s!
I bet they can, they just lost the first one. Meaningless.
ENGLAND WIN ASHES!!!
Well done Charlotte Edwards. Clearly the best England team out there.

Debate: England Men vs England Women. Who would win right now?

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 17:59 Wed 29 Jan 2014

benread wrote:
djewesbury wrote:
LGTrotter wrote:
djewesbury wrote:I bet they can't wait for the meaningless T20s!
I bet they can, they just lost the first one. Meaningless.
ENGLAND WIN ASHES!!!
Well done Charlotte Edwards. Clearly the best England team out there.
Debate: England Men vs England Women. Who would win right now?

I think I know the answer. And I think the result would put Derek's earlier comment about keeping the girls from moaning into perspective!

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 23:12 Wed 29 Jan 2014

Just watching and enjoying the Ashes highlights.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 23:14 Wed 29 Jan 2014

LGTrotter wrote:Just watching and enjoying the Ashes highlights.

Didn't expect to write that did you?

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 23:18 Wed 29 Jan 2014

djewesbury wrote:
LGTrotter wrote:Just watching and enjoying the Ashes highlights.
Didn't expect to write that did you?

No perhaps not. Being wrong is ok.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 23:19 Wed 29 Jan 2014

Sure is.

LGTrotter · Post by **LGTrotter** » 23:21 Wed 29 Jan 2014

Has Derek fallen down a well or something?

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 23:22 Wed 29 Jan 2014

LGTrotter wrote:Has Derek fallen down a well or something?

Derek is alive. But he is in London, poor soul.

Post by **DRT** » 13:19 Fri 31 Jan 2014

I can confirm that I am still alive.

It appears the long knives are out.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 16:40 Fri 31 Jan 2014

DRT wrote:I can confirm that I am still alive.

It appears the long knives are out.

Ashley Giles???? Noooooo