It's just not cricket

[djewesbury]

Billy Cooper is playing Singin' in the Rain and Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head.

[LGTrotter]

Reluctant as I am to agree with Daniel; Yeah, chin up goth, write a stiff letter to the times or something.

It is odd how one side has trounced the other only to be trounced in it's turn again. Makes it hard to know which side is actually better. And down with rain. If you deserve to lose, then lose you should (England in this case).

[djewesbury]

If you deserve to lose the other team should bowl you out. If they don't, you don't.

[LGTrotter]

If you deserve to lose the other team should bowl you out. If they don't, you don't.

Oh quite, Statistics will not record that it was a draw which Australia deserved to win, only that it was a draw. I was just saying that I think it is a pity when rain decides the outcome rather than the players.

[DRT]

Unfortunately, a letter to The Times would largely be met with the same misguided loyalty being displayed here. Which is why they still have Bell in the team.

Until there is some honesty in the assessment of the performance of the team and individuals when the chips are down it will never improve. Until then we can watch them turn from world beaters to rubbish and back again at the toss of each coin.

Sir Alex Fergusson could do post-match de-briefs with the players who think that larking around in the pavilion is an acceptable reaction to being humped by your arch rivals? More seriously, someone like Clive Woodward would make a good addition to the management team in an attempt to bring a more professional attitude and to stamp out the tendency to tolerate mediocrity?

[DRT]

If you deserve to lose the other team should bowl you out. If they don't, you don't.

Oh quite, Statistics will not record that it was a draw which Australia deserved to win, only that it was a draw. I was just saying that I think it is a pity when rain decides the outcome rather than the players.

Fear not. It is to stop raining by 16:00 and Daniel can be in the pub an hour later.

[djewesbury]

It has already stopped.

[djewesbury]

It's back on again.

[djewesbury]

And how dare you Derek. I, along with every right-thinking England fan who can read the game, have been in the pub for the last hour.

[DRT]

And how dare you Derek. I, along with every right-thinking England fan who can read the game, have been in the pub for the last hour.

Good man. You have restored my faith in you.

[djewesbury]

I don't believe an England player said that it didn't matter how badly they played, by the way. Prove it.

[DRT]

I don't believe an England player said that it didn't matter how badly they played, by the way. Prove it.

Jos Buttler.

That is a Guardian report of the same interview I watched on BBC Breakfast this morning.

Pathetic.

[djewesbury]

Jos Buttler, the England wicketkeeper, insists no matter how poor the team’s performance has been in the fifth Test, it cannot detract from the fact that they will be celebrating an Ashes victory come today’s expected conclusion to the series.

That is not the same thing as what you attributed to him Derek.

[djewesbury]

[DRT]

Jos Buttler, the England wicketkeeper, insists no matter how poor the team’s performance has been in the fifth Test, it cannot detract from the fact that they will be celebrating an Ashes victory come today’s expected conclusion to the series.

That is not the same thing as what you attributed to him Derek.

Perhaps a direct quote from his lips rather than a journalist's spin on his words would be more appropriate...

{unless you actually saw the interview, as I did, you will have to imagine the smirk on his face as he said...}

It’s disappointing but we have won the Ashes and no one take that away from us, no matter how badly we played in this game

Not a million miles away from...

This morning I heard one of them say something along the lines of "it doesn't matter how bad we play in this test we have already won the Ashes"

I stand by my view that the way in which the England team have approached and reacted to this final test is appalling. If you think differently then that's fine.

I hope you enjoyed the fireworks.

[djewesbury]

And with that, Derek stomps off to await his 50% refund and to contemplate the damnation of the entire English cricket team. Beneath a glowering sky he contemplates eternity, and duty, and the failure and frailty of man.

"This will not do," he mutters angrily under his breath.

[LGTrotter]

Joss Buttler did the end of the day interview last night, he was categorical that he was not thinking about or hoping for rain, the journo then pushed him a bit saying that a bit of rain might help and he replied that if it rained then no problem. The sub head on an article then read "Buttler hopes for rain". I paraphrase somewhat but journos are pretty creative in writing stories.

Anyway, I think I sit somewhere between Daniel and Derek on this series, England did a lot better than I thought they would and to expect perfection is unrealistic, however I also agree that England have some unfinished business in terms of selection, Lyth, Bell in the batting, even Buttler and Stokes were a worry, and the bowling has some issues, eg Anderson abroad, Broad bowling a length, Wood and fitness, spinners...

[djewesbury]

Owen, I am not at an opposite pole to you with regards to the work England still have to do. UAE will be difficult and South Africa will be harder still.

[DRT]

Anyway, I think I sit somewhere between Daniel and Derek on this series, England did a lot better than I thought they would and to expect perfection is unrealistic, however I also agree that England have some unfinished business in terms of selection, Lyth, Bell in the batting, even Buttler and Stokes were a worry, and the bowling has some issues, eg Anderson abroad, Broad bowling a length, Wood and fitness, spinners...

Very well summarised, Owen. One addition point I would make is that this team seem to think they are better than they are. They need to work very hard to prove that to be true.

[LGTrotter]

The other thing I loved about the England side was Finn. He is back for good, and if there is anything I like better than a mystery spinner story it is a fast bowler wilderness years story. Why do they all have to do it? Willis, Simon Jones, Harmison, there are others but you get the idea. I suppose it is the difficult second album syndrome. And they all come back with a fey look in their eyes, like they did actually wrestle demons in the desert.

[DRT]

like they did actually wrestle demons in the desert.

Sounds like the ideal place to send Bell

[djewesbury]

Very well summarised, Owen.

Oh I agree with Nick, right Derek?
Ugh. Such sycophancy.

[DRT]

Very well summarised, Owen.

Oh I agree with Nick, right Derek?
Ugh. Such sycophancy.

Were you hit by one of those damp squibs?

New business:

Name two players who will be spending more time with their family during the UAE tour.

I'll say Lyth and Bairstow.

[djewesbury]

Funnily enough I don't think Lyth. They're going to hold on to him, for better or worse, I think. I think Bairstow might take Buttler's gloves off him though.

[djewesbury]

And as I've said, they may 'rest' Bell and perhaps even Anderson - not much for him in UAE potentially, or does it swing in Abu Dhabi?