With the Graham Stone Terraces 2011

Post by **jdaw1** » 18:16 Sat 15 Jun 2013

Wife and I being thirsty, and fancying some decadence, we started on a box of GST11. Within was the obvious treasure, and also a piece of yellow metallic paper.

The Golden Ticket wrote:Greetings to you, the lucky ﬁnder of this Golden Ticket, from Mr William Symington! I shake you warmly by the hand! Tremendous things are in store for you! Many wonderful surprises await you! For now, I do invite you to come to my estates and cellars and be my guest for one whole day you and all others who are lucky enough to ﬁnd my Golden Tickets. I, William Symington, will conduct you around myself, showing you everything that there is to see, and afterwards, when it is time to leave, you will be escorted home by a procession of large trucks. These trucks, I can promise you, will be loaded with enough delicious drinkables to last you and your entire household for many years. If, at any time thereafter, you should run out of supplies, you have only to come back to the factory and show this Golden Ticket, and l shall be happy to reﬁll your cellar with whatever you want. In this way, you will be able to keep yourself supplied with tasty refreshments for the rest of your life. But this is by no means the most exciting thing that will happen on the day of your visit. I am preparing other surprises that are even more marvellous and more fantastic for you and for all my beloved Golden Ticket holders mystic and marvellous surprises that will entrance, delight, intrigue, astonish, and perplex you beyond measure. In your wildest dreams you could not imagine that such things could happen to you! Just wait and see! And now, here are your instructions: the day I have chosen for the visit is the ﬁrst day in the month of February. On this day, and on no other, you must come to the lodge gates at ten o’clock sharp in the morning. Don’t be late! And you are allowed to bring with you either one or two friends to look after you and to ensure that you don’t get into mischief. One more thing - be certain to have this ticket with you, otherwise you will not be admitted.

(Signed) William Symington.

Errr, yippee!

I might be about to see the long-fabled, and by some thought mythological, blending waterfall (‟Portfall”?) by which the Symingtons make their magic. And the ‟procession of large trucks” also promises well.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 18:22 Sat 15 Jun 2013

Clearly there is some sort of powerful hallucinogen contained in this juice.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 18:32 Sat 15 Jun 2013

(If you're saying you need someone to accompany you to drink unlimited quantities of anything you want at the Graham's Lodge on the 1st of Feb 2014, I've just checked my diary and I can probably shift the meetings I have that day.)

Post by **DRT** » 21:35 Sat 15 Jun 2013

I am happy to accompany you to make sure the Oomport-Loompas don't try to drown you in a vat of the secret recipe.

PS: Are you sure you opened your box and not mine?

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 21:37 Sat 15 Jun 2013

Well that's all organised then.

g-man · Post by **g-man** » 22:09 Sat 15 Jun 2013

post of the month material

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 22:12 Sat 15 Jun 2013

i think we need to see a picture though

mpij · Post by **mpij** » 22:32 Sat 15 Jun 2013

As the date in question is my 52nd birthday I think I should be one of the 2 friends invited. I also notice thatr while invited friends are to keep you out of mischief, there is no mention of any restrictions on mischief making by friends. Sounds like fun!

mannye · Post by **mannye** » 15:11 Sun 16 Jun 2013

My daddy has all his workers opening boxes and soon I will have a golden ticket too!

Andy Velebil · Post by **Andy Velebil** » 16:24 Sun 16 Jun 2013

I will make sure you and your luggage are escorted safely there and back.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 16:46 Sun 16 Jun 2013

Chaps, this is already settled. Though it's touching to see how much people care about JDAW...

Post by **jdaw1** » 18:50 Sun 16 Jun 2013

If I am to be accompanied by two of you fine folks, first my Supreme Commander must be dissuaded from claiming one of the places. But how?

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 20:40 Sun 16 Jun 2013

Well why on earth would she want to see you engaging in all those long tedious conversations about Baumés and VA for hours and hours and asking to see the different kinds of shovel used to take the must out of the lagares...? Very very boring.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 20:41 Sun 16 Jun 2013

You need to schedule some very arduous meetings with winemakers to coincide with this trip.

djewesbury · Post by **djewesbury** » 00:23 Mon 17 Jun 2013

Has JDAW come round from his daydream yet..?

Post by **PhilW** » 12:48 Mon 17 Jun 2013

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo,
I’ve got a perfect puzzle for you.
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee,
If you are wise you’ll listen to me.
What do you get it you drink port too young?
A thin tannic mess stoppered up with a bung.
What do you get if you wait thirty years?
A fine drop of wine that can move you to tears.
What's in the bottle with no label on?
Just open and drink till the contents are gone.
What does the cork show written in black?
A fine old VP drunk with a steak as a snack.
We love the taste of it
Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-da,
Given good manners you will go far.
You will live in happiness too,
Like the oompa loompa do-ba-dee-doo.
Do-ba-dee-doo

Post by **jdaw1** » 13:08 Mon 17 Jun 2013

As a young boy the version sang to me lines five to eight went something like

What do you get when you guzzle down port?
Glass after glass, quart after quart?
A masculine and prosperous physique,
Which makes you healthy and strong not weak.

(Excellent idea though we need our version of the Oompa-Loompa song.)

Post by **jdaw1** » 17:18 Mon 17 Jun 2013

Upon reflection, I really like this idea of PW’s:

needs a Club Anthem, and the Oompa Loompas praising voluminous consumption of fine VP would be liked by all.

It would not be difficult to devise entertaining ritual. One of those present stands, and deeply intones ‟Oompa Loompa”. Next to the left (of course!) stands and both intone the same. Then the third. When all are standing, the verse(s) continue/s.

(There would be an additional step for attending members of the trade, who would have an extra line ‟Subject to the Code of Practice of The Portman Group”.)

But the song needs work:

PhilW wrote:Given good manners you will go far.

Given good bottles you will go far. And, upon reflection, my proposal in the previous post scans badly.

Post by **Alex Bridgeman** » 22:45 Tue 18 Jun 2013

jdaw1 wrote:It would not be difficult to devise entertaining ritual. One of those present stands, and deeply intones ‟Oompa Loompa”. Next to the left (of course!) stands and both intone the same. Then the third. When all are standing, the verse(s) continue/s.

Please may I video this for upload to YouTube? I think this could be the next viral music/dance craze!

Post by **jdaw1** » 22:57 Tue 18 Jun 2013

AHB wrote:Please may I video this for upload to YouTube?

I much prefer not.

Post by **DRT** » 22:59 Tue 18 Jun 2013

jdaw1 wrote:If I am to be accompanied by two of you fine folks, first my Supreme Commander must be dissuaded from claiming one of the places. But how?

I once came to Paris and SCP-DFF moved out of Chez Wiseman to stay with her mother before I arrived. If you pick me you will have one space left for another TPFer.

Post by **jdaw1** » 23:06 Tue 18 Jun 2013

jdaw1 wrote:(There would be an additional step for attending members of the trade, who would have an extra line ‟Subject to the Code of Practice of The Portman Group”.)

Said very quickly, in the tone of a disclaimer at the end of a radio advertisement:

‟Subject to the Portman Group Code of Practice on the Naming, Packaging and Promotion of Alcoholic Drinks, most especially that we are not giving ‘undue emphasis’ to Port’s ‘higher alcoholic strength’, we are not suggesting any association with ‘bravado’, nor ‘with sexual activity or sexual success’, and are not claiming that Vintage Port ‘has therapeutic qualities’, even though it cures most ailments, adds handsomeness, and is wooing-juice-tastic.

And our packaging will give the score, the Chief Medical Officers’ recommended minimum hourly dose for a man, and advise men not to be pregnant.”

We still need to work on the verses.

Post by **DRT** » 23:21 Tue 18 Jun 2013

The Portman Group wrote:Since the Portman Group was set up in 1989, over 130 irresponsible products or promotions have been withdrawn

So the global drinks industry marketing bods step out of line less than six times per year. Quite impressive self control.

Glenn E. · Post by **Glenn E.** » 00:33 Wed 19 Jun 2013

Andy Velebil wrote:I will make sure you and your luggage are escorted safely there and back.

Again?

But it's not even your eleventy-first birthday!

Post by **PhilW** » 07:53 Wed 19 Jun 2013

jdaw1 wrote:Upon reflection, I really like this idea of PW’s: needs a Club Anthem, and the Oompa Loompas praising voluminous consumption of fine VP would be liked by all.

Simpler for many, would be a variation on the original Monty Python Spam song; Any inspired member could start a quiet "Port, Port, Port, Port..." with others joining as wanted (or being told to SHUT UP) and if enough joined then harmonies and choruses of "Lovely Port, Wonderful Port". Of course for visits to Porto, full harmonies and Viking helmets would be mandatory. Possibly usable to drown own the damn Oompa-Loompas!

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