It's just not cricket

[DRT]

Daniel,

If you are still confident the current odds are well worth a tenner...

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[flash_uk]

Oh dear. An England collapse is fully underway. Root and Cook for double hundreds each?

[flash_uk]

Root and Cook for double hundreds each?

That'll be a no. Root out for 1.

[Alex Bridgeman]

Personally I think this is all Daniel's fault. England will be all out before lunch tomorrow, will follow on and will be dismissed just after tea. Daniel will then be forced to watch goluf all day on Sunday. Or replays of the Lords Test on Austrialan TV.

[DRT]

Personally I think this is all Daniel's fault. England will be all out before lunch tomorrow, will follow on and will be dismissed just after tea. Daniel will then be forced to watch goluf all day on Sunday. Or replays of the Lords Test on Austrialan TV.

I agree. I did try to warn him last week but he wouldn't listen. It will be a pity if this game is lost without so much as a whimper.

[LGTrotter]

Everybody simmer down. All is not lost. England have been nothing for three for the last five years* and we have still won the odd game, it's being nothing for four which is the problem as Root one of very few England batsmen with any consistent form. 367 is what is needed to avoid the follow on, which might still happen. I think Cook is due a score and Moeen can bat forever.

"But lambkins, we live" as whoever it was said whenever it was.

*Correction; England have been nothing for 3 since Ian Bell moved up the order.

[jdaw1]

Mayhap we will be wondering when, in our second innings, we will declare. Perhaps at 600-4?

[DRT]

Mayhap we will be wondering when, in our second innings, we will declare. Perhaps at 600-4?

The clever actuaries at PaddyPower appear to think that is unlikely...

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For those unfamiliar with betting odds, 40/1 in a two-horse race with 60% of the distance still to run is rare. It's about the same odds you would get on intelligent life being found on Pluto in the next three days.

[Alex Bridgeman]

Joe Root should be dropped from the side to make way for someone reliable who can score consistently. How many times does a batsman have to fail before he's dropped? Bring back KP, that's what I say!

[DRT]

Joe Root should be dropped from the side to make way for someone reliable who can score consistently. How many times does a batsman have to fail before he's dropped? Bring back KP, that's what I say!

Perhaps Bell should be bumped up the order and given the Captaincy for being the most consistent batsman in the team?

[djewesbury]

Personally I think this is all Daniel's fault. England will be all out before lunch tomorrow, will follow on and will be dismissed just after tea. Daniel will then be forced to watch goluf all day on Sunday. Or replays of the Lords Test on Austrialan TV.

This LIVE from our cricket correspondent at Lord's:


I will not be watching "goluf" nor will I be watching "Austrialan" TV because I don't know where Austriala is.

After an excellent morning's play, I think England are responding very well. Stokes's innings was a real pleasure to watch and he was bowled by a peach. Cook looks well set. I do not now believe they will win - Derek, you can stop checking Paddy Power every five minutes - but , amazingly, I do not think this is over yet. Armchair generals, return to your toy soldiers.

[DRT]

I can confirm from my seat in the Pavilion that the game is more interesting than it was yesterday evening and that the beer is cold.

How are things in the cheap seats Danny?

[djewesbury]

These seats are not cheap; and you are not in the pavilion.

[djewesbury]

Alex and Derek will not be happy: I enjoyed a 2011 Loron Moulin-à-Vents for lunch. Beaujolais much underrated.

[djewesbury]

Derek, what did you think of that streaker, the one who got wrestled to the ground in front of the pavilion and wasn't shown on TV?

[DRT]

Derek, what did you think of that streaker, the one who got wrestled to the ground in front of the pavilion and wasn't shown on TV?

I didn't see it - it must have been when I was eating my roast beef upstairs, which went very well with the Chasse-Spleen 1982.

I'm surprised you can't see me in the pavilion stand. I'm the one with the red and yellow tie and straw hat.

[djewesbury]

Actually I'm in the Long Room now, what's your seat number..? My cousin's a member..

[djewesbury]

Derek had to leave early, apparently, something to do with an act involving a pork pie. Shame. The 6 from Ali was beautiful.

[DRT]

Actually I'm in the Long Room now, what's your seat number..? My cousin's a member..

Just waiting to have tea with the players to give them some sage advice. Will come and find you afterwards.

[djewesbury]

I'm in the dressing room now! See you in 5 minutes!

[djewesbury]

Derek's guru Geoffrey tells us that this game is far from over. England cannot yet be written off. I would listen to that. 285-7 doesn't look that bad in the circumstances.

[DRT]

I'm in the dressing room now! See you in 5 minutes!

What makes you think I would be in the same dressing room as you?

I'm about to explain the Mitch & Mitch how to get a bit more pace out of this pitch

[djewesbury]

Oh I saw them a minute ago, taking their antidepressants. Fed up, they were.

[LGTrotter]

I bet that was a good days cricket to be watching, good weather, some runs and some wickets. To sit in the afternoon and watch the Australians bat. It's not all about England winning, I hope you enjoyed yourself today Daniel. I thought your choice of wine with lunch was rather, I hesitate to use the word, doctrinaire...

[djewesbury]

Cricket: was excellent, an entirely satisfactory day's play from the spectator's point of view. All the criteria you highlight, Owen.
Wine: this was what was available from the off-licence that used to be Nicolas on St. John's Wood High Street. There were other choices at more inflated prices. This delivered line and length and didn't mess about trying to do stuff it couldn't really pull off.