Geeks

[Overtired and emotional]

There have been a few references to geeks on this site.

When does an intelligent and civilised interest in the means by which one can become sedately plastered, or overtired and emotional, turn into geekiness. Is it catching? Is it just a matter of perspective? Are we all in denial?

I'm no geek, and I'm sure none of you are either, but how do you spot one?

John

[Conky]

Here's a few examples of how your interest is becoming that keen, we may need another name for you (Even if you dont like Geek)

You start to invent your own labels

You have a collection of 'glued back together' corks from your favourite bottles

You know the weather forecast for the Douro, everyday during the Harvest Season

Any more for any more????

Alan (I'll put my Tin Hat on and get ready!)

[Alex Bridgeman]

Or when you write tasting notes that resort to "fairies dancing on your tongue" and "elusive Will O' The Wisps" evading your tastebuds?

[DRT]

More qualifying activities:

• collecting empty port bottles
• excessive attention to decanting times
• production of tasting mats for offlines around the globe
• collecting corks
• sniffing corks for no apparent reason
• 1985 vintage obsession
• inventing cork extraction methods involving hazardous technologies
• travelling around with a port glass in a wooden box at all times
• over-engineered cellar indexing schemes
• not being able to throw away empty OWC's
• a deep love of 3 piece bottles, especially those with large punts
• fill level obsession
• cork length obsession
• sediment consistency classification
• an unhealthy interest in cheese
• Morgan's 91 disease
• having Noval Nacional grapes in your freezer
• tiddlywinks
• putting small sticky labels on the back of each bottle detailing where and when bought
• chalk mark love
• stencil font obsession
• inability to comprehend the use of unbranded corks
• is there really any need for me to go on?

Derek

[jdaw1]

Three out of twenty-three: needs work.

[Conky]

Jdaw1,

Which 3 are you coughing to?

Alan

[DRT]

Thirteen out of twenty three: Needs help.

[jdaw1]

Which 3 are you coughing to?

• production of tasting mats for offlines around the globe
• 1985 vintage obsession
• tiddlywinks

Thirteen out of twenty three: Needs help.

The non-hyphenated twenty-three was presumably just to test me.

[Conky]

But what about his last point?

is there really any need for me to go on?

You do bang on about Apostrophe Crimes on a Port Site! So shall we have you down as four?

[DRT]

Calling all Geeks (even those who think they are not Geeks),

Please list your vices here, or at least give us a score out of those listed above. More Geekisms welcome.

Derek

[Conky]

Er...One!

And thats only Alex's flowery language one.

Or am I kidding myself?

[DRT]

You suffer from at least one more of those listed. It was entered in the list with you in mind but Jdaw surpringly claimed it for himself.

More for the list are:

• attaching the top of embossed lead capsules to extracted corks
• reconstrucing corks using glue
• reconstructing corks using the more traditional and ecologically friendly method of wooden cocktail sticks
• inserting photographs of capsules, corks, labels and wine in tasting notes threads
• excessive linking of BB threads
• embolding of salutation and signature of posts
• obsession with old bottles of cheap port
• hatered of plastic capsules
• a desire to cut the punt out of a port bottle with a James Bond style diamond-tipped device to retrieve a pushed-in cork (honestly, I couldn't believe what I was hearing )
• keeping a pressed, dried grape skin from the Nacional lagare in your TN book
• keeping an unwashed glass in your kitchen from which you and some friends tasted the juice from the Nacional lagare in Oct 2006

Please, someone must be able to help me

[Conky]

They are just getting the room ready Sir,

and yes, it is padded!





I presume then, for my other one, you are on about my love of M85 and F85, and therefor a 85 obsession?
Fair enough, but I also love my birth year.

[DRT]

and therefor a 85 obsession?

Should be and therefore an 85 obsession?

Fair enough, but I also love my birth year.

Sorry

• 1908 obsession

[DRT]

I thought is was worth highlighting this one again:

• a desire to cut the punt out of a port bottle with a James Bond style diamond-tipped device to retrieve a pushed-in cork (honestly, I couldn't believe what I was hearing)

Can you guess who this belongs to?

Derek

[Conky]

Derek

You know I cant spell. And my grandma is shocking!

But your also going to have to put up with my batteries going in my cordless keyboard. The first sign of that, is the odd letter doesn't come out.

And while I'm on, you still haven't explained my guess was legit! Or have your batteries been going as well?

Alan

[jdaw1]

• inserting photographs of capsules, corks, labels and wine in tasting notes threads

Guilty.

• excessive linking of BB threads

I suspect this is aimed at me, even if falsely and unfairly. I cross link, but only where appropriate, to help the readers’ navigation.

You might have also added:

• giving every post an appropriate title;
• banning the washing of glassware by the wife, previous houseguests and even the cleaning woman;

[DRT]

Jdaw1,

Most of your comments are noted and accepted, but you're not getting off that easy on the excessive linking, Just take another look at the F-Plan TN's (which I have declined to link here on the grounds it would weaken my argument) and tell me I'm wrong.

Alan, I agree, Your batteries are definitley running low

Derek

[jdaw1]

A single paragraph was prepared (see first post of review), and copy-pasted into each TN for easy of navigation. After entering or reading a TN on, say, the 1966, one could immediately jump to any other. Convenient and courteous, that’s all.

[KillerB]

We still haven't started a thread on glass-washing techniques

That should give a hint.

Going to Asda at least once a week to see if they have any Warre's LBV at £5 per bottle again. Or Dow's Tawny.

Going to the Port section in every supermarket every time in the vain hope that something new may have turned up. Staring balefully at all the shelves for at least five minutes hoping that you'd missed something.

Checking wine-searcher.com every day.

An obsession with where those three port glasses went when you moved house.

[Conky]

Going to the Port section in every supermarket every time in the vain hope that something new may have turned up. Staring balefully at all the shelves for at least five minutes hoping that you'd missed something.

There's another one! But is that Geeky behaviour? If it is I'll now definitely admit to two.

Alan

[DRT]

I've stopped counting. All of KillerB's apply. I don't know whether to lock this thread before more are posted or book myself into The Priory

Derek

[KillerB]

You create a website dedicated to Port.

[Overtired and emotional]

Crikey! Once I've read this lot, I'll digest the replies and think of an answer.

Garrulous bunch arn't you!

John

[KillerB]

You invent names for units of measure that are only relevant to Port - such as the Bridgeman and Turnbull Time