The Five Word Novel

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jdaw1
Cockburn 1900
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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by jdaw1 » 11:47 Thu 19 Sep 2019

apostrophes having confused the forger,

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DRT
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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by DRT » 13:19 Thu 19 Sep 2019

but the capsule looked genuine.
"The first duty of Port is to be red"
Ernest H. Cockburn

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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by Old Bridge » 19:33 Thu 19 Sep 2019

and it seems to state:

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jdaw1
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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by jdaw1 » 20:56 Thu 19 Sep 2019

that it had been bottled

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DRT
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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by DRT » 07:31 Fri 20 Sep 2019

by a man named Rudy.
"The first duty of Port is to be red"
Ernest H. Cockburn

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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by PhilW » 09:25 Fri 20 Sep 2019

The Baron and young maiden

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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by AHB » 11:32 Tue 01 Oct 2019

, with pockets full of gold,
Top Ports in 2019 (so far): Cockburn 1947 and Quinta do Noval Nacional 2017
2018 Ports of the year: São Leonardo 1927 White Port (Bottled 2018), Quinta do Noval Nacional 1994

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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by DaveRL » 17:43 Tue 01 Oct 2019

strolled across Morecambe Bay sands.

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jdaw1
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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by jdaw1 » 22:34 Tue 01 Oct 2019

Where they saw, nestling in

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DRT
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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by DRT » 00:39 Wed 02 Oct 2019

a shallow rock pool, fifteen
"The first duty of Port is to be red"
Ernest H. Cockburn

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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by PhilW » 08:19 Wed 02 Oct 2019

minutes later, after they had

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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by DaveRL » 17:05 Wed 02 Oct 2019

consulted their Tide Tables they

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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by PhilW » 19:25 Wed 02 Oct 2019

could not believe - it was

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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by DRT » 07:18 Thu 03 Oct 2019

The story so far...

Having decanted the older port, Baron Forrester decided that he should fill his pockets with Cockburn 1847 branded corks. He, much to his mother’s dismay, had not cleaned his bedroom of empty bottles and pipes before going to see his wine cellar and its skeletons. But what he found instead was that the door to the cork room was wide open, with an intriguing smell of an old Taylor colheita coming from behind an ancient wardrobe with a glass door. Long ago the glass had been painted black inside so the equipment inside was hidden, but the corking machine was making a strange groaning sound. ‟The younger port: where did he put it?" groaned the young maiden as she was watched quietly by the Baron. The maiden's Father burst through with the younger port, decanted, in one hand and the tray of glasses in the other. "Ahh, old Taylor!" exclaimed the Baron, "Where have you put my tasting note book?" . "The wardrobe, if you dare look inside!"

Meanwhile, down at a remote quinta along the Rio Torto, the drunken Bishop was entertaining a young impressionable policeman with stories of magical double magnums of Dow 1878, served by vestal virgins in a wide range of Riedel glassware. The policeman was confused about why so many glasses were being so obsessively re-washed.

"Ah!" sighed the man with the map, "Follow! I know where the Old Taylor is. Into the boat, quickly!". Baron Forrester spotted the boat sailing, port tack beating into the sou'westerly. After a sip (a policeman drinking on duty!) they arrived at a most unusual mooring, given the type. Coincidentally, at this very moment, the maiden’s father dropped the decanter. The room fell silent as it fell, and bounced and was caught by Forrester. But the stopper had broken , so drinking now was imperative. Glug, as the policeman slurps not sips as he did previously. ‟Why is there sediment?” I thought you decanted this? Have you consulted The Port Steward?" demanded the policeman as he grabs back the decanter . "Coffee filter! I need a glass to drink and this one is the wrong shape!!”

Meanwhile, the girl with big glasses of port ready for the guests arriving suddenly noticed a stain had appeared on the ceiling. Blood! cried Forrester. The wet reddish stain drips onto the previously clean muslin, rendering it useless for decanting . The girl wept as she dropped a bottle of port, vintage of course, all over the Baron's new map of gentleman's Commonwealth cricketing outposts. Fortunately, cricket is of no interest to peasants, but a gentleman prefers blondes.

The policeman's radio crackles as Test Match Special finishes. "Plums, violets, cigar smoke?” Bumble wondered as he sipped the Cockburn 1873. "It's like very expensive vinegar, made by multiple generations in the Douro of angry and extremely hairy Australians, who usually prefer extreme ironing, dangling from cliffs photographing natives. Meanwhile, behind a bush, a bottle of Port is boiling quietly in the heat. The label is clearly fake, apostrophes having confused the forger, but the capsule looked genuine, and it seems to state: that it had been bottled by a man named Rudy.

The Baron and young maiden, with pockets full of gold, strolled across Morecambe Bay sands. Where they saw, nestling in a shallow rock pool, fifteen minutes later, after they had consulted their Tide Tables they could not believe - it was
a Port bottle with a
"The first duty of Port is to be red"
Ernest H. Cockburn

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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by PhilW » 10:48 Thu 03 Oct 2019

Gould Campbell label dated 2017!

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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by DRT » 22:04 Thu 03 Oct 2019

Later that night, the policeman
"The first duty of Port is to be red"
Ernest H. Cockburn

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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by DaveRL » 22:27 Sat 05 Oct 2019

, having found another bottle, realised

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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by DRT » 07:17 Sun 06 Oct 2019

, to his utter astonishment, his
"The first duty of Port is to be red"
Ernest H. Cockburn

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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by AHB » 16:11 Mon 07 Oct 2019

niece was actually related to
Top Ports in 2019 (so far): Cockburn 1947 and Quinta do Noval Nacional 2017
2018 Ports of the year: São Leonardo 1927 White Port (Bottled 2018), Quinta do Noval Nacional 1994

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DRT
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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by DRT » 09:54 Tue 08 Oct 2019

one of the prime suspects,
"The first duty of Port is to be red"
Ernest H. Cockburn

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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by AHB » 13:22 Tue 08 Oct 2019

in the alleged drowning of
Top Ports in 2019 (so far): Cockburn 1947 and Quinta do Noval Nacional 2017
2018 Ports of the year: São Leonardo 1927 White Port (Bottled 2018), Quinta do Noval Nacional 1994

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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by DaveRL » 17:58 Tue 08 Oct 2019

his sorrows with a magnum

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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by DRT » 11:26 Wed 09 Oct 2019

of Dow 1896.

The priest
"The first duty of Port is to be red"
Ernest H. Cockburn

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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by PhilW » 18:11 Wed 09 Oct 2019

offered the policeman absolution for

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Re: The Five Word Novel

Post by DRT » 15:59 Sat 12 Oct 2019

tasering the Mother Superior in
"The first duty of Port is to be red"
Ernest H. Cockburn

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