MaryAnne Wiseman (SCP-DFF)

[SCP-DFF]

Hello Everyone!

My husband, JDAW, asked me to introduce myself. So here I am. It's nice to meet you all. I've heard many many things about this crowd, and mostly, how much this forum means to my husband. Quite frankly, I think he's a little obsessed with this forum, and port, but what's a passion if not slightly obsessed with it?

So apparently one weekend, while DT was here with us in Paris not long ago, they appointed me SCP-DFF (Supreme Commander Port-Drinking Forces France). To which I just rolled my eyes at and accepted. And also, DT's girl is SCP-DFE (I think). Not sure if she accepted, but I recommend that she does. It keeps us involved. And if I have any say in the amount of drink my husband has, then I'll take what I can get.

In any case, port is good. I like to too. And because J's been my hubby for the past 4ish years, he's spoiled me and now a 1980 of any port is like 'eh, that's cool', whereas back 6 years ago if someone served me anything from 1980, I'd be severely impressed. Severely. One has to serve me at least a '70 or from a house like Quinta Do Noval ''Nationale". A '31 would be nice too.

You all probably know that we've just moved to Paris into a house. I'm very much looking forward to inviting those who wish to come visit us for a sweet port tasting. I'll make the nosh (I'm told boys' nosh is needed), and we have enough space to have 3 or 4 guests stay over. Drunk guests by the time we're done with the tasting.

Looking forward to meeting you all in person!

Cheers!
Mrs W

[KillerB]

MaryAnne,

Great to have you on board and thank you for the offer of such hospitality. I look forward to meeting you,

Alex

[DRT]

SCP-DFF (to use your proper name),

Welcome to

I must object to the following:

Quite frankly, I think he's a little obsessed with this forum, and port,

You have not been watching closely enough. He, JDAW, is not just "a little obsessed" - he lives, breathes and sleeps thinking about 150 year old Port Shipper calalogues and the need to have Vintage Port shipped in 15l bottles. He cares deeply about whether or not there is a difference between ‟Thompson & Croft 1887, bottled 1890, at 115/0 per dozen" versus the standard Croft 1887. He makes placemats for port tastings that require more lines of code than it took to send men to the moon. Do these sound like the sort of things that display that someone is "a little obsessed"?

Anyway, thank you for your very kind hospitality during my recent visit to Paris. I very much look forward to visiting again to enjoy more boy's nosh (no greens required) and meeting you and your lovely children again in the not too distant future.

Derek

PS: Jo is SCP-DFD, and has accepted the appointment.

[JacobH]

Hi, MaryAnne. Welcome to !

He makes placemats for port tastings that require more lines of code than it took to send men to the moon.

This, of course, begs a question...Unfortunately, using the source-code in John Pultorak's "Block I Apollo Guidance Computer (AGC): How to build one in your basement", it seems that an implementation of the basic instruction set used to run the AGC ran to 9,500 lines of code: the placemat software is only 8,100. A safer line of reasoning might be to compare the amount of processing power required to generate a placemat with the the amount required to send a man to the moon...

[DRT]

Hi, MaryAnne. Welcome to !

He makes placemats for port tastings that require more lines of code than it took to send men to the moon.

This, of course, begs a question...Unfortunately, using the source-code in John Pultorak's "Block I Apollo Guidance Computer (AGC): How to build one in your basement", it seems that an implementation of the basic instruction set used to run the AGC ran to 9,500 lines of code: the placemat software is only 8,100. A safer line of reasoning might be to compare the amount of processing power required to generate a placemat with the the amount required to send a man to the moon...

SCP-DFF,

Hopefully Jacob's reply will re-assure you that your husband is not alone here

DRT

[Alex Bridgeman]

Mary-Anne - it is a pleasure to welcome you to the Board. Having had the (brief) pleasure of meeting you a couple of times in New York, I look forward to meeting you in Paris or London in due course in the not-too-distant future.

Derek - when are we going to welcome the SCP-DFD to the forum?

Alex

[DRT]

Derek - when are we going to welcome the SCP-DFD to the forum?

I think one member inviting the Mrs to watch his every move is enough trouble, don't you?

[jdaw1]

A safer line of reasoning might be to compare the amount of processing power required to generate a placemat with the the amount required to send a man to the moon...

Not quite fair. If I were processor-constrained the placemat would go direct-to-paper, rather than via PDF. Though it uses PostScript level 2, the level 2 features could easily be purged if needed. So a c1987 1M printer would work quite well. Whether the software could work on something twenty years older: well, yes, but not quickly. Three or four seconds distillation time on my Mac could become a few hours print time: would that be a problem?

[SCP-DFF]

Hopefully Jacob's reply will re-assure you that your husband is not alone here

Thanks Derek, it only confirms what I've suspected from way back in the beginning - that you're all crazy.

Now let's see...Jacob's post opened up yet another question - Was the guidance computer the only one on Apollo? (I'm almost afraid of who and what will come back as an answer.)

Alex - hopefully you'll come to Paris too. It'll be nice to see you again and perhaps enjoy an excellent port tasting chez nous. Everyone's invited. And those who come over must over must let me know what you like to eat. I know from DRT and my husband that greens are forbidden. But does that include all of you?

Mrs W.

[benread]

MaryAnne,

We have not met, but clearly you are a wonderful woman! As to your last question about greens, may I repeat something I have said to others before:

A healthy balanced diet consists of 4 things:

Red meat; white meat; beer; wine.

Anything else is just garnish!

One observation - a difference between you and Julian. You ask what we would like if we visit. He asks what (bottles of port) we can bring if we visit!

Nice to "meet" you.

Ben

[JacobH]

A safer line of reasoning might be to compare the amount of processing power required to generate a placemat with the the amount required to send a man to the moon...

Not quite fair. If I were processor-constrained the placemat would go direct-to-paper, rather than via PDF. Though it uses PostScript level 2, the level 2 features could easily be purged if needed. So a c1987 1M printer would work quite well. Whether the software could work on something twenty years older: well, yes, but not quickly. Three or four seconds distillation time on my Mac could become a few hours print time: would that be a problem?

Apple tells us that the Laserwriter (which I believe was the first PostScript Printer) ran at 12Mhz in 1985, with the Apollo Guidance Computer "effectively" running at 0.043 MHz. Assuming that the AGC could print directly to paper, could that produce a placemat within the time of an average Apollo mission? Even when printing directly to paper, would 1.5MB of RAM (the Laserwriter) or 2 kilowords of reusable memory (the AGC) be sufficient?

[RonnieRoots]

Nice to see you here MaryAnne, hopefully we'll meet one day.

I actually like greens.

[jdaw1]

Hmmm, 280× slower: a few seconds becomes an hour. But the 2 kilowords of memory is a problem. OK, maybe the placemat software couldn’t run on the Apollo mission guidance computers.

I don’t think an explicit disclaimer is needed (‟This program is not designed to be executed on a guidance computer used in an Apollo mission. More memory is required.”).

[DRT]

‟This program is not designed to be executed on a guidance computer used in an Apollo mission. More memory is required.”

Given the slow but certain march towards a USA-style litigious society I think such a disclaimer in the header would a wise precautionary move.

[g-man]

Ah, so this is who the mysterious person who posts as JDAW1 at times is!

glad to have shared a 1924 with you!

For a little bit, I thought Julian might have been making up the wife for the 2 years I've drunk with him!

[SCP-DFF]

MaryAnne,

A healthy balanced diet consists of 4 things:

Red meat; white meat; beer; wine.

Anything else is just garnish!

Ben

Hi Ben,

Are you married Ben? Does your woman make you eat the 'garnish' is she makes it? Do you live on the RM, WM, B, & W exclusively? I was telling Julian that I'd be interested in gathering the average cholesterol and triglycerides count from everyone on this forum. I know DRT's preferred diet. And I hear about my husband's preference on a daily basis. I'm afraid what the results would be.

SCP-DFF.

[DRT]

I'd be interested in gathering the average cholesterol and triglycerides count from everyone on this forum.

JDAW & Admin,

May I suggest that the words highlighted in red in the above post be added to the "banned" list to avoid causing undue stress and concern to our beloved members?

[Glenn E.]

I'd be interested in gathering the average cholesterol and triglycerides count from everyone on this forum.

My cholesterol is moderately high due to heredity - everyone in my family has high cholesterol, but since they've been living into their 90s I'm not all that worried about it. My HDL/LDL ratio is reasonable, though, and my doctor tells me that the ratio matters more than the total cholesterol score.

If my triglycerides have ever been measured, no one bothered to tell me the result.

I run 3-4 miles 4-5 times per week, though "run" is perhaps overstating my pace. Still, that burns off 500 or so calories each time which is equal to ~3 standard servings of Port. As it turns out, many things can be stated in Port Serving Equivalents (PSE). 1 bottle of your typical sports drink = 1 PSE. 1 unconscionably small serving of perfectly seared beef tenderloin = 2 PSE. 1 much more reasonable serving of perfectly seared beef tenderloin = 4 PSE. 1 large baked potato, liberally annointed with "the works" = 3 PSE. And so on.

[jdaw1]

There is nothing I can do other than apologise unreservedly for the embarrassment caused by this improper question. Please pretend not to notice make polite conversation among yourselves.

Garnish is there to look pretty. Course you don’t eat it.

[DRT]

500 or so calories...is equal to ~3 standard servings of Port. As it turns out, many things can be stated in Port Serving Equivalents (PSE).

It is a little known fact that the act of selecting and withdrawing a bottle from one's cellar, removing the seal, uncorking it, decanting it, and pouring a measure of port into a glass 14 times over a 4 to 5 hour period burns off precisely the equivalent of 15 PSEs.

[jdaw1]

Plus washing the decanter and glass! Sixteen.

[DRT]

Plus washing the decanter and glass! Sixteen.

Not to mention that 5 glasses of port is your "five-a-day" on the fruit-n-veg front.

Now here is a thought: Ferreira 1830 has a distinctly green hue. If you drink that with a slab of beef does that count as having "greens"?

[jdaw1]

Now here is a thought: Ferreira 1830 has a distinctly green hue. If you drink that with a slab of beef does that count as having "greens"?

Careful with that. Telling your doc that you ‟had your greens once” might prove unproductive.

[DRT]

Now here is a thought: Ferreira 1830 has a distinctly green hue. If you drink that with a slab of beef does that count as having "greens"?

Careful with that. Telling your doc that you ‟had your greens once” might prove unproductive.

I suppose there is little chance of a lifetime supply of Fr1830 on prescription from the NHS

[Glenn E.]

Plus washing the decanter and glass! Sixteen.

Not to mention that 5 glasses of port is your "five-a-day" on the fruit-n-veg front.

Now here is a thought: Ferreira 1830 has a distinctly green hue. If you drink that with a slab of beef does that count as having "greens"?

Obviously. Madeira also is often noted as having a green tinge at the rim, though I'm no fonder of Madeira than I am of the "yard waste" salads that seem to be so in vogue at fancy restaurants.