Port and literature

Anything to do with Port.
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djewesbury
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Re: Port and literature

Post by djewesbury »

What a tantalising ending to tonight's episode!! Has anyone guessed the twist yet?

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DRT
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Re: Port and literature

Post by DRT »

I knew it all along - it was the kitchen maid with a poisoned filter in the pantry!
"The first duty of Port is to be red"
Ernest H. Cockburn
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djewesbury
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Re: Port and literature

Post by djewesbury »

Nice idea. But is it right?
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DRT
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Re: Port and literature

Post by DRT »

Yes. I bought the book yesterday.
"The first duty of Port is to be red"
Ernest H. Cockburn
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djewesbury
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Re: Port and literature

Post by djewesbury »

DRT wrote:Yes. I bought the book yesterday.
Then someone's been interfering with your maid.
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PhilW
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Re: Port and literature

Post by PhilW »

I did wonder about the funnel or cheesecloth, as near the start, the niece was present near the cradle but not the bottle, and the nicotine could have been soaked onto with if they were on that tray; but that would not explain the need to switch bottles later, so can't be correct.

Either, the was opened, poison added, and re-corked by the niece with huge biceps and a recorking machine in the corner of the cellar, or the butler did it. Or both. The butler IS the niece, with a false moustache?
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DRT
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Re: Port and literature

Post by DRT »

djewesbury wrote:
DRT wrote:Yes. I bought the book yesterday.
Then someone's been interfering with your maid.
That was never proven and you know it. Move along...
"The first duty of Port is to be red"
Ernest H. Cockburn
LGTrotter
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Re: Port and literature

Post by LGTrotter »

And it wasn't nicotine.
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DRT
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Re: Port and literature

Post by DRT »

LGTrotter wrote:And it wasn't nicotine.
{Eastenders} Dum, dum, da-da-da, dum!
"The first duty of Port is to be red"
Ernest H. Cockburn
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Re: Port and literature

Post by LGTrotter »

And he isn't dead!
PhilW
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Re: Port and literature

Post by PhilW »

He's just... Pining for the fjords?
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DRT
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Re: Port and literature

Post by DRT »

LGTrotter wrote:And he isn't dead!
That explains it. I knew the prostate cancer theory couldn't be true :roll:
"The first duty of Port is to be red"
Ernest H. Cockburn
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Alex Bridgeman
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Re: Port and literature

Post by Alex Bridgeman »

jdaw1 wrote:
DRT wrote:It surprised me that a butler of Craven's experience would not know how many dozens of Ck08 remained in the bin. Perhaps that was the only way to introduce the cellar book as a suspect?
I always know exactly how many Dow 1908s are in my cellar.
I don't. Every time someone asks me, I have to get my butler to look it up in my cellar book.

Things that happened in 1908:
Top Ports in 2023: Taylor 1896 Colheita, b. 2021. A perfect Port.

2024: Niepoort 1900 Colheita, b.1971. A near perfect Port.
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djewesbury
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Re: Port and literature

Post by djewesbury »

Wow! I can't wait to post tonight's episode (get back!) now we that know so much about 1908!
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djewesbury
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Re: Port and literature

Post by djewesbury »

Well well. Who could have expected that we'd arrive here so soon - only a page and a half remains and it makes no sense to leave half the final exposition until tomorrow so here you are, the end of the road and a dose and a half of goodness. Enjoy it. It's been fun. Soyez soin. A bientôt. Image
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Re: Port and literature

Post by LGTrotter »

The butler did it? Dotty Sayers does it again, I was fooled by the assumption that poison was traditionally a female murder weapon. Most enjoyable Daniel. And congratulations on finding a story with port at it's heart.
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djewesbury
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Re: Port and literature

Post by djewesbury »

My pleasure, Owen. It was great fun. And rather thrilling that you liked it too, hmm?
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DRT
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Re: Port and literature

Post by DRT »

Most excellent. Thank you, Daniel.
"The first duty of Port is to be red"
Ernest H. Cockburn
Glenn E.
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Re: Port and literature

Post by Glenn E. »

Great fun! Thanks, Daniel!
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PhilW
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Re: Port and literature

Post by PhilW »

So the butler did it after all; I guess we should have known.
Great job in finding such a port-focussed story, and enjoyed your presentation of it.
Thank you, it was fun.
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jdaw1
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Re: Port and literature

Post by jdaw1 »

PhilW wrote:So the butler did it after all; I guess we should have known.
Great job in finding such a port-focussed story, and enjoyed your presentation of it.
Thank you, it was fun.
Seconded.
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Doggett
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Re: Port and literature

Post by Doggett »

Great entertainment Daniel...thank you. All that is needed now is a nice glass of Dow 1908 to mark the end of this wonderful serial.

For those interested in other Maxims from 'The Salesman's Handbook' that Egg seems to live by, I found the below collection...

-To serve the public is the aim of every salesman worth the name
-It's useless to bluster and say "No, no", when it's perfectly clear that the facts are so
-Don't let the smallest chance slip by; you never know until you try
-If you're a salesman worth the name at all, you can sell razors to a billiard ball
-The hardest problem's easy of solution when each one makes his little contribution
-Whether you're wrong or whether you're right, it's always better to be polite
-Ready to learn means ready to earn
-The haberdasher gets the golfer's trade by talking, not of buttons, but of Braid
-Account with rigid honesty for £ and s and even d
-The goodwill of the maid is nine-tenths of the trade
-Don't trust to luck but be exact, and certify the smallest fact
-The salesman with the open eye sees commissions mount up high
-Don't wait for unpleasant disclosures to burst. If the truth must be told, see you tell it first
-The salesman who will use his brains will spare himself a world of pains
-Well-kept hands that please the sight, seize the trade and hold it tight, but bitten nails and grubby claws well may give the buyer pause
-Discretion plays a major part in making up the salesman's art
-The salesman's job is to get the trade - don't leave the house till the deal is made (Monty's motto)
-Attend to details and you'll make your sale - a little weight will often turn the scale
-Never miss a chance of learning for that word spells "£" plus "earning"
-When it's a question of stamps to lick, the office-boy knows most of the trick
-If accidents happen and you are to blame, takes steps to avoid repetition of same
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Re: Port and literature

Post by Glenn E. »

I must confess that I don't follow the last paragraph. How does addressing Mr. Egg as "sir" after previously addressing him as "young fellow" immediately identify Craven as the culprit?
Glenn Elliott
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DRT
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Re: Port and literature

Post by DRT »

A butler of good standing would be very deferential to those he thought of as his superiors but quite dismissive and authoritarian over those beneath him. A salesman visiting the master's house would fall into the latter category, as evidenced by the greeting on the previous occasion.

On this particular day Craven would be feeling guilty and perhaps behaving out of character, thus addressing the salesman in an unusual manner.
"The first duty of Port is to be red"
Ernest H. Cockburn
LGTrotter
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Re: Port and literature

Post by LGTrotter »

Now this is over, can we talk about port again? It's just that Alex has sent me a spreadsheet that's given me a nosebleed and I need to talk about it.
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