Opening instructions

Anything to do with Port.
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jdaw1
Cockburn 1851
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Opening instructions

Post by jdaw1 »

The [url=http://www.cockburns.com/]Cockburn website[/url] wrote:
Opening instructions for new Cockburn’s Special Reserve tins:

To open after purchase please hold the main body of the tin in one hand and place your other on the neck.

Then firmly pull the neck at a slight angle until it snaps open at the join just above the large Cockburn's brand name on the main body of the tin.
The deal is simple. If you have to give instructions about how to to open the thing, then:
• The packing was a bad idea.
• You haven’t read The Design of Everyday Things.
PhilW
Dalva Golden White Colheita 1952
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Re: Opening instructions

Post by PhilW »

... and presumably don't walk down the street holding the tin by the neck, as you might naturally do, as if you swung or jogged your arm too much it might open and the bottle fall on the floor? Perhaps they made it very tight to avoid that, but hence had to add the instructions if it didn't seem to open easily?
Andy Velebil
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Re: Opening instructions

Post by Andy Velebil »

PhilW wrote:... and presumably don't walk down the street holding the tin by the neck, as you might naturally do, as if you swung or jogged your arm too much it might open and the bottle fall on the floor? Perhaps they made it very tight to avoid that, but hence had to add the instructions if it didn't seem to open easily?
I have opened one. The neck is quite tight but not tight enough to prevent from what you describe happening. Most retailers I've seen have removed the bottles from the tins as the tins don't fit on their shelving and/or have cause customer confusion. Anyone need lots of empty tins?

Good idea on paper, bad idea for actual use.
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Alex Bridgeman
Graham’s 1948
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Re: Opening instructions

Post by Alex Bridgeman »

Or perhaps the instructions are a helpful reminder for those occasions when you successfully opened and consumed the first two tins but can't remember how to open the third.

It happens to us all. :oops:
Top Ports in 2023: Taylor 1896 Colheita, b. 2021. A perfect Port.

2024: Niepoort 1900 Colheita, b.1971. A near perfect Port.
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uncle tom
Dalva Golden White Colheita 1952
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Re: Opening instructions

Post by uncle tom »

I'm annoyed..

I make a point of telling the producers how well their excessive packaging burns, usually as kindling..

..but now they've gone and made one that can't be lit!

Hmm....

OK, 101 uses please for a pointless tin can...
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly - W.S. Churchill
PhilW
Dalva Golden White Colheita 1952
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Re: Opening instructions

Post by PhilW »

Perhaps it is more ecologically recyclable? (which does not sufficiently mitigate potentially broken bottles!)
Andy Velebil
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Re: Opening instructions

Post by Andy Velebil »

uncle tom wrote:I'm annoyed..

I make a point of telling the producers how well their excessive packaging burns, usually as kindling..

..but now they've gone and made one that can't be lit!

Hmm....

OK, 101 uses please for a pointless tin can...
Tom
Perhaps they've read your prior posts and have mounted a prevention campaign?
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DRT
Fonseca 1966
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Re: Opening instructions

Post by DRT »

uncle tom wrote:..but now they've gone and made one that can't be lit!
Surely you have some sort of substance in the bunker that can help ignite aluminium if you have a hot enough fire? :twisted:
"The first duty of Port is to be red"
Ernest H. Cockburn
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uncle tom
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Re: Opening instructions

Post by uncle tom »

Surely you have some sort of substance in the bunker that can help ignite aluminium if you have a hot enough fire?
Now, there's a thought..

If filled with a thermite mix of aluminium powder and iron oxide, and then ignited by sticking an ordinary sparkler in the top; the aluminium container would be brought close to it's boiling point, let alone melting point. Increase the oxide proportion in the mix to also consume the container, and your fancy packaging would be reduced to a puddle of molten iron in around five seconds.

I usually do this demo using a clay flower pot suspended in the air, so people can see the molten iron cascading out of the hole in the bottom of the pot.

If I put the filled bottle inside the pot, it would probably work just as well..

- Anyone fancy making a YouTube video...?
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I shall be sober and you will still be ugly - W.S. Churchill
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jdaw1
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Re: Opening instructions

Post by jdaw1 »

No officer, it wasn’t me. Just not me. Yes, I saw the description on the internet, but there’s all kinds of stuff on the internet. Really, no, I did not buy a bottle of Port in an aluminium can.
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benread
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Re: Opening instructions

Post by benread »

uncle tom wrote:I'm annoyed..

I make a point of telling the producers how well their excessive packaging burns, usually as kindling..

..but now they've gone and made one that can't be lit!

Hmm....

OK, 101 uses please for a pointless tin can...
Cut a few holes in the tin. Fill with wood chips and use as a smoker on the bbq. Ensure food smoked will compliment the port!
Ben
-------
Vintage 1970 and now proud owner of my first ever 'half-century'!
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