Desert Island Ports

[PhilW]

I recently ran a port tasting for a local pub/restaurant, and was asked the following pair of questions from one of the participants, which I thought would be a good topic for the forum.

1. If you were to be cast away on a desert island, and you were able to take seven* bottles of port with you, what would they be?

2. If instead you could only have one case of a single port, what would it be?

For the purposes of the above, please assume (if needed, for those not planning an immediate binge!) that the island onto which you are cast has a small cave with constant cool temperature and good humidity all year round.

*yes, I know Desert Island Discs allows eight recordings, but this is how the question was asked.

[JWEW]

Presumably the eighth item is a decanter?

[jdaw1]

Is the desert island hot or cold? Antarctica is a desert, and needs almost-mature big luscious full-fruit VPs (F, G, T, V). But those would be less suitable for a hot desert island: mature but not very mature tawnies please.

[Alex Bridgeman]

If we're allowed to only take 7 bottles, I assume that we're not expected to survive more than a couple of months, at most.

Are the bottles required to be 7 different bottles?

Are we able to take tongs, burner, iced water, funnel, filter and decanter?

What kind of glasses do we have available? Surely we don't have to cope with Marjorie Lumm tasting glasses (cheap and functional, but not great for port)?

Any other rules we need to comply with? 20th century only? 19th and 20th century vintages?

[DRT]

Which types of food will be available on the island?

Will placemats be available to help us remember who we are, what we are drinking and which hand we drink with?

[LGTrotter]

I thought we got one luxury item, which was usually an endless supply of something, Nicola Sturgeon went for coffee, could we have another port as the luxury item?

Anyway I think this a rotten trick. The idea of records is you can play them over and over for ever. And we have to make do with one bottle! Sue Lawley doesn't say to Lord Chuff of Downton that the tape will self destruct after one play, á la Mission impossible, does she?

[DRT]

I think this a rotten trick. The idea of records is you can play them over and over for ever.

Very true.

Perhaps we could mitigate that slightly by taking seven Melchizedeks?

And can I just say that if Nicola Sturgeon is going to be on the island I won't be going!

[LGTrotter]

It also occurs to me that the list of music should have personal associations, but I have been thinking of a list of best ports.

As I see there have been no actual suggestions let me break the duck.

Warre 66 (about the first port I can remember drinking)
Fonseca Guimarens 78 (the first port I remember buying)
Graham 77 (an old favourite from 'the County Stores', Taunton, a shop which set my unsteady feet on the path of wine)
Graham 85 (marking the beginning of following my own opinion on port rather than that of experts)
Cockburn 70 (starting to get to appreciate older, browner ports)

I shall add more as they come to me.

Also; shouldn't we have Graham 70 and Fonseca 66 automatically, like they get the bible and Shakespeare?

[DRT]

Warre 66 (about the first port I can remember drinking)
Fonseca Guimarens 78 (the first port I remember buying)
Graham 77 (an old favourite from 'the County Stores', Taunton, a shop which set my unsteady feet on the path of wine)
Graham 85 (marking the beginning of following my own opinion on port rather than that of experts)
Cockburn 70 (starting to get to appreciate older, browner ports)

No Taylor 85? I thought it was one of your big favourites?

Also; shouldn't we have Graham 70 and Fonseca 66 automatically, like they get the bible and Shakespeare?

I like your thinking.

[PhilW]

Is the desert island hot or cold?

Up to you; will depend on night or day also, I imagine; but there is a nice constant temperature cave.

If we're allowed to only take 7 bottles, I assume that we're not expected to survive more than a couple of months, at most.

Not necessarily; it is up to you whether you consume them all the first night, or save them for your birthday each year; hence the cave.

Are the bottles required to be 7 different bottles?

No, up to you (though the intention was probably yes).

Are we able to take tongs, burner, iced water, funnel, filter and decanter?

No, but being a desert island I'm sure you can sort out fire, water, and some form of items to use as filters, funnels or more inventive means. I'll allow a decanter and half a dozen ISO tasting glasses to have been washed up with you.

What kind of glasses do we have available?

As above.

Any other rules we need to comply with? 20th century only? 19th and 20th century vintages?

Not really; I was tempted to suggest "only vintages you have tasted" to avoid esoteric selection, but decided it wouldn't do much good in this company

Which types of food will be available on the island?

Whatever you can find/catch.

Will placemats be available to help us remember who we are, what we are drinking and which hand we drink with?

I think you'll have to make your own circles in the sand.

Also; shouldn't we have Graham 70 and Fonseca 66 automatically, like they get the bible and Shakespeare?

Nice idea, but no, as some might want the bible, others the Koran, etc.

So much for a simple question! Thank you, Owen, for providing an answer!

[DRT]

Which types of food will be available on the island?

Whatever you can find/catch.

Hmm? This poses additional complexity that must be carefully considered. Mammals? Marsupials? Reptiles? Arachnids? Insects? Fish? Fruit? {or, perish the thought} Green stuff? - the possibilities are endless but the choice of Port is so limited. I think Owen might have gone off a bit prematurely with his attempt at an answer

Will placemats be available to help us remember who we are, what we are drinking and which hand we drink with?

I think you'll have to make your own circles in the sand.

What will be the average temperature of the sand at dinner time?

[jdaw1]

Perhaps we could mitigate that slightly by taking seven Melchizedeks?

I like your thinking, but the amended rules still require the permission of the IVDP for each >3L bottling. Permission might not be forthcoming for a thirty-litre bottle. Further, and from later in the same source, “SFE has recently decided no longer to bottle larger than an imperial”. Though this leaves open, at least in theory, the possibility of a Melchizedek of Quinta do Noval Nacional 2015: who is paying for this trip to the island?

[DRT]

Perhaps we could mitigate that slightly by taking seven Melchizedeks?

I like your thinking, but the amended rules still require the permission of the IVDP for each >3L bottling. Permission might not be forthcoming for a thirty-litre bottle. Further, and from later in the same source, “SFE has recently decided no longer to bottle larger than an imperial”. Though this leaves open, at least in theory, the possibility of a Melchizedek of Quinta do Noval Nacional 2015: who is paying for this trip to the island?

A thought occurs:

The unfortunate soul who would be transported to the island would be entitled to an appropriate send-off. Each of the other members turn up with a Melchizedek of Champagne and four cases of the same Port. All of the bottles are opened. The Champagne is used as an aperitif and the Melchizedeks are rinsed and dried. Thoroughly. All of the bottles of Port are tasted and the good ones poured into the clean Melchizedek bottles. This would leave 6L of Port per person for tasting, drinking and wastage. Our Robinson Crusoe would then have a number of Melchizedeks from which to choose seven to accompany him to the island. The remainder would be drunk in the post-send-off party.

[jdaw1]

Each of the other members turn up with a Melchizedek of Champagne and four cases of the same Port.

who is paying for this trip to the island?

Edit: of course, Phil is paying. Derek: an excellent plan. We all wholly agree.

[DRT]

Each of the other members turn up with a Melchizedek of Champagne and four cases of the same Port.

who is paying for this trip to the island?

Edit: of course, Phil is paying. Derek: an excellent plan. We all wholly agree.

It seems we are reaching consensus on how this could work.

But I thought you might comment on the notion of a thirty-litre per-person aperitif. Perhaps the annual tiddly-winkers' dinner has taught you to take such challenges in your stride?

[jdaw1]

But I thought you might comment on the notion of a thirty-litre per-person aperitif.

It is what there is. Asking for more might be thought greedy.

[SCP]

As I do not own any bottles in the 30L format (yet?), I would settle for the readily available, but small, bottles on offer at Farr Vintners in their brown and sticky collection.

http://farrvintners.com/offers/large_format_row.php

[Glenn E.]

http://farrvintners.com/offers/large_format_row.php

As I sat here drooling over a 4.5L bottle of Graham's 40-yr old Tawny Port, I thought "wow, that's actually a good price!" Then I realized it is in GBP, not USD. Sad face.

[LGTrotter]

I was emailed an offer of a Melchior of 1966 Blandy's bual recently. 18 litres of Madeira seemed such a perfect amount, the £4500 price tag less so.

[SCP]

http://farrvintners.com/offers/large_format_row.php

As I sat here drooling over a 4.5L bottle of Graham's 40-yr old Tawny Port, I thought "wow, that's actually a good price!" Then I realized it is in GBP, not USD. Sad face.

Presumably this desert island has no import duty or VAT, so you could buy and ship your 7 bottles in bond, thereby reducing the cost by 20%. Admittedly not enough to cover the GBP/USD problem, but it would be a start.

I fear there may be a Battle Royale / Hunger Games variant of this desert island discs idea, where you place 7 port lovers on the island and the last one standing gets the bottle / case / pipe of port.